The following article appeared in the programme for Racing Club Warwick v Ludlow Town on 25th September 2004.
This week’s ramblings concern one-man scoring
exploits. Two goals in one match is often known as a “brace” or a “double” and
everyone knows that three is a “hattrick”. But what is the correct terminology
for four? A double-brace perhaps? I don’t think that there is a common term so
perhaps fans of Racing Club should nominate one….what about an “Ollie”?
Biddulph? If you’ve ever dropped a brick into a pond then that’s the sound you get – Bidd-ulph! Seriously, Biddulph Victoria come from north Staffordshire and were formerly known as Knypersley Victoria. Last season we dispatched them 4-1 on a pudding of a pitch. This season the omens didn’t look so good with the team coming off the back of defeat at home to Barwell and the squad down to the bare bones. How wrong could I be? I didn’t reckon on the goal-power of Super-Ollie. An opener from Darren Beckett after 8 minutes was followed by a one-man scoring show from Ollie. Goals in the 30th and 43rd minute saw Racing coming in 3-2 up at the break although I have to say that I was feeling a little uneasy at half time, as our defending looked a little shaky. However, within 10 minutes of the resumption we were out of sight at 5-2. Two more Ollie goals in the 50th (penalty) and 54th minute saw to that.
How often do you see a player scoring 4? Go on! Think! It’s such an unusual occurrence that I had to get my record books out to check how many times I’d seen a player notching 4 in a match. Ollie, you’re in good company! All full England internationals with the exception of Gary Fisher of Taunton (and there’s still time for him!). My personal list of 4-timers is as follows:
25th September 1982 4 Goals Luther Blissett Watford 8 Sunderland 0
2nd October 1982 4 Goals Kevin
Keegan Rotherham United 1
Newcastle United 5
26th September 1990 4 Goals Paul
Gascoigne Tottenham Hotspur 5
Hartlepool United 0
21st September 1991 4 Goals Gary
Lineker Wimbledon 3
Tottenham Hotspur 5
17th February 1993 4 Goals David
Platt England 6 San
Marino 0
26th April 2003 4 Goals Gary
Fisher Racing Club
Warwick 1 Taunton Town 7
For me it works out at a 4-timer about once every five seasons (am I boring you yet?)! And I’m still waiting to see someone score 5 in a match. So next time Marcus, leave Ollie on until the end…..please?.
Finally this week I thought that we at Racing Club should take it upon ourselves to come to the assistance of our brother clubs. Poor old Roman Abramovic is in the awkward position of being a shareholder at Chelsea whilst also being the owner of a company who sponsor CSKA and, inevitably, they have been drawn to play each other in this season’s Champions League. Well Roman, if you’re reading this (!), we have a solution. Simply switch sponsorships! CSKA could proudly sport the Classic Watches of Warwick logo whilst we turn out with a new shirt sponsor “Saltmines R Us” (or whatever Roman’s company does to generate Didier Drogba’s weekly wages).
Another brainwave of mine concerned how we could ease Bobby Robson’s headache over how to keep Messrs Shearer, Bellamy, Kluivert, Milner and Ameobi happy. Clearly he can only start two of these stars and have another couple on the bench, so, at each match one of them is left in the lurch. Step forward Racing Club! We often have an unfilled berth on our bench and if Wor Alan & Co would be happy with an opportunity of a second-half run out whilst understudying to Ollie or Lovers then I’m sure we could help out. Just one problem I suppose….the little matter of wages! Ah well, we’d better flog a few more raffle tickets and Golden Goal tickets : Dig deep Ladies and Gentlemen!
Keep the faith!
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